


I Bought Five Hundred, So I Never Have To Do That Again

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-03
Updated: 2009-05-03
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:26:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8692777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jared has to stop at the store and buy something for his daughter, and he really doesn't want to.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This takes place several years after Supernatural..they have a twelve year old and a five year old - *G* Oh, and this was shamlessly plucked from Bill Engvall's stand up about having to stop at the store and buy his daughter pads.

"Hey," Jared smiled as he answered his phone. 

 

"Hey, you finished up early. I thought for sure I'd have to leave a voicemail."

 

"Yeah, I'm glad we're not shooting tomorrow," Jared yawned. 

 

"Why not?" Jensen asked.

 

"Something about someone's grandma's birthday or funeral - I don't know, I only halfway paid attention. How's Hayden?"

 

"He's about the same. I already gave him his medicine and put him to bed. He was really grumpy. He cried himself to sleep," Jensen half laughed. "If you would have been here, you so would have caved and let him get back up."

 

"Bite me, bitch!" Jared smiled. "What's for dinner, dear?" he mocked. 

 

It had become a joke between the two of them, since one worked and one stayed home with the kids. Whichever one wasn't working at the time was named the dreaded "housewife".

 

"Spaghetti, Hayden's favorite, so I could try and get him to eat something."

 

"Did it work?"

 

"No. Well, a little. He had three bites, which is good considering he wouldn't eat anything yesterday. Uh, babe, I need you to stop at the store on your way home," Jensen said, knowing that Jared was going to flip the fuck out.

 

"K, what do you need?"

 

"Piper needs pads."

 

"What, like writing pads?" Jared frowned. "I think that there is a whole stack in the computer room, she can use those."

 

Jensen chuckled. "No Jared, not writing pads. Pads - pads."

 

"Wha..." then it hit him. "No."

 

"Yes, Jared. You have to stop and buy them. She needs them, ok?"

 

"Jeeeeeeeeen...get the kids in the car and make her go in and get them herself."

 

"I'm not getting Hayden out of bed to go to the store so you don't have to buy pads. Piper has already had her bath and is in her pajamas. It's not fair to make her get dressed because you're embarassed."

 

"Jeeeeeeeeeennnnnnn," Jared whined. "Don't make me do this! Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?" Jared paused a moment and frowned. "Wait a minute, when did she start having periods? Jen, we need to take her to the doctor, she's only twelve!"

 

Jensen sighed. "It's perfectly normal for some girls to start that early. Jared, it's fine. And she started having them sometime last year."

 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

 

"She started when you were in Texas for your sister's wedding. We couldn't come because I was filming and Piper had school, remember? By the time you got home it just slipped my mind. I wasn't keeping it from you."

 

Jared pulled into the Walmart parking lot. "Jen...what if I come home and you come back out and get them? It must not bother you to do it, you've had to be the one buying them all the time. OH - OH - wait!" Jared yelled into the phone. "I'll just call that pharmacy on the corner and get them to deliver them!" he said, smiling at his amazing smarts.

 

"Nice try. They don't deliver past seven; it's nine-thirty."

 

"Tell them I'll give them a thousand dollars to do it."

 

"No, we are not paying someone a thousand dollars to bring a bag of pads to the house because you're too chicken-shit embarassed to buy them yourself. Tell me something though, are you telling me that the entire time you had girfriends that you never once bought their pads or tampons?"

 

"No, I didn't."

 

"Get out of the car and go into the store and buy your daughter a damn bag of pads, Jared. I swear to you that it won't kill you!"

 

Jensen snapped his cell closed and turned to look at his daughter sitting at the kitchen table. 

 

"I think your father might just have a heartattack from this," he laughed.

 

"What's the big deal, Dad? I mean - all women have them!"

 

Jensen walked over to her and leaned down and kissed her on the top of the head. "I don't know why he's freaking out. That's just Jared."

 

~

 

Jared walked inside Walmart and headed toward the dreaded feminine hygeine section of the store. Sure, he might be close to forty years old, but buying pads is something that women did, not men. Life wasn't fair, and he was killing his husband when he got home for making him do this.

 

He rounded the corner and walked down the aisle, thankful that nobody was on it. He glanced around at the varying brands...Stayfree, Always, Kotex. Then there were the types - thins, maxi's, overnights, thin maxi's, this one, that one. He pulled out his cell and dialed home.

 

Jensen looked over at the phone and sighed, flipping it open. "Jared, just pick them up and go to the fuuuu - uh, to the friggin' counter!" he said aggravated as he looked over at their daughter.

 

"Jensen, there's like ten million brands, there's all these sizes - what the fuck do I buy?"

 

Jensen chuckled. "She likes Always thin maxi's, Jared. It's a small bag with like twenty four in it."

 

"I don't see them. I see regular ones - but nothing that says thin maxi's," Jared said, peering at the bags. 

 

"Get one of the workers to help you find them."

 

"What?" Jared squeaked, his voice going an octave higher. "I am not going to some eighteen year old girl and asking her to help me pick out pads...can't I just get these regular ones?" Jared asked, picking up the large bag.

 

"No Jared, she doesn't like those, she likes the thin ones."

 

"Can't she just cut them in half?" Jared whined.

 

Jensen chuckled into the phone. "This is really killing you, isn't it? You didn't have a problem in the world standing in the store years ago," Jensen starts and heads out of the kitchen, making sure his daughter can't hear him, "back when we first started dating, with me standing there right beside you picking out condoms that we both liked, but you can't buy your daughter pads."

 

"Fuck you," Jared whined again. "Jeeeeeeeeeeen, I can't find them, can I come home?"

 

"No, Jared, your daughter needs them. She only had the one, she'll need more in the morning before school. You'll be up and gone before they get out of bed, I'll have to cook breakfast, get them up and ready. You need to buy them tonight."

 

Jared snapped his cell phone shut. "Fucker!" he snarled to no one. He turned around and ran smack into a twenty-ish girl who was very taken with seeing a famous actor in Walmart.

 

"Oh my God! You're Jared Padalecki!" she gushed.

 

Jared smiled at her. "Yeah, hi!" he grinned, shaking her hand.

 

"Wow, I can't believe that I'm meeting you...just - wow! I wish that I had my camera!" she chirped. "How's the new movie coming along?"

 

"Good, good," he nodded. Then Jared was mortified, he was standing in the feminine aisle surrounded by nothing but hygeine products, pads and tampons.

 

The girl noticed the paralyzed look on his face. "Uh...do you need some help, you look kinda lost," she sniggered.

 

"Yeah, Jensen said that our daughter needs - uh...some of those. And I can't find the ones that she wants."

 

The girl chuckled. "What does she like?"

 

"Always, thin maxi's," Jared said, turning bright red.

 

The girl looked at the shelf and walked to them, pulled the bag off and handed them to Jared. "Thanks," Jared muttered.

 

"Sure," she said biting back a laugh. "Uh, Jared?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Can I get an autograph?" she asked.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Jared came in the door carrying five bags from Walmart, all packed full. Jensen came around the corner to greet him and stopped, frowning down at the multiple bags. "What else did you buy?"

 

"Nothing," Jared answered. "Piper!" he called out. "Come here."

 

She came around the corner and looked up at her father. "Hi Dad, what's up?"

 

"Here," he said, handing her the bags.

 

Piper frowned at him and took them. "What is it?" she said.

 

"Jaaaaaaaaared!" Jensen scolded. "Why on earth did you buy that many of them?" he asked when Piper pulled out bag after bag of Always pads.

 

Piper dropped the bags and leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms over her chest. "Yeah Dad, why did you buy five hundred bags?" she asked, looking at him like he was the stupidest creature ever created on earth.

 

"So I **never** have to do that again!" he huffed, walking past them and heading upstairs to check on their son.

 

~le done


End file.
